Loving Again

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Most people want to be loved.  Well, at least all those I have ever met.  Like me, they enjoyed receiving the extra adoration, special privileges, attention, forgiveness and light that being loved brings.  However, it is interesting to note how many of the same people do not want to give love.  They are unwilling to put in the work to heal, humble oneself and prepare for love.

I fell into this category.  Maybe you can relate. You are just too tired and disappointed from past hurt to try.  Bitterness begins to construct an impermeable wall to block the free flow of love in and out of your heart.  But at some point, you have to ask yourself if you want love in your life again (from another person other than your child or family).  Be honest.  Ask yourself, “Do I desire to experience reciprocal true love…tender, patient, powerful, kind, forgiving and faithful?” If you do, one of the first steps is to turn to God and humble yourself.

Don’t do anything for selfish purposes,
but with humility think of others as better than yourselves.
Instead of each person watching out for their own good,
watch out for what is better for others.
– Philippians 2:3-4 (Common English Bible)

Believe me; humility takes a lot of work!  It requires letting go of pain and trusting God with all aspects of your new relationship.  You have to endure the healing process. It requires you to be vulnerable and relinquish control. It also involves a new set of eyes…seeing others and yourself from a new perspective.  And to be clear, humility of oneself does not mean settling for just anyone.  You should expect the best! Thankfully, God’s word can help you with this transformation and provide the strength you will need.  Although there may be some tears, loving again is worth the effort!

…And everyone, clothe yourselves with humility toward each other.
God stands against the proud, but he gives favor to the humble.
– 1 Peter 5: 5 (Common English Bible)

The Power of Love & Respect

Photo credit: Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs book logo

Logo credit:  Love & Respect by  Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Did you know there is power in submission? It is not a very popular topic, however understanding the concept of headship, honor, love and respect can transform any marriage for the better. The more I learn how God designed the covenant of marriage to work gracefully between a man and a woman, the more I am intrigued by its untapped resources.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself;
and the wife see that she reverence her husband. – Ephesians 5:33

According to the book Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, this scripture is a focal point for those who desire peace, intimacy and exhilaration in their marriage.  The book also provides much insight on the importance of spiritual maturity, behavior, and tone to the overall success of a healthy relationship.  A fruitful and glorious marriage requires both spouses to have a heart to serve each other…unconditionally. Those two words: “serve” and “unconditional” are strong and powerful concepts in a marital relationship. Thankfully, Christ is our example and the strength which enables us to relate to our spouse in this very special way.

Here are just a few nuggets from the book…

  • Unconditional respect is just as important as unconditional love
  • Headship provides protection – not domination
  • Wives can practice speaking to their husbands in the same adoration, tone and encouragement and with the same soft facial expression that they would want their daughter-in-laws to speak to their sons
  • Proverbs 10:19 – With lots of words comes wrongdoing, but the wise restrain their lips. (Common English Bible Translation)
  • We can grow to honor our spouses in a manner that energizes the relationship

I hope you are able to read this book and find your inspiration! Begin a new journey with God! Trust Him to soften your heart and expand your capacity to love your spouse without fear.  Experience the power of love and respect!